Last updated: January 2025. Based on discussions from r/relationships, r/productivity, r/Marriage, r/LifeProTips, r/organizing.
"We used to fight about who forgot to pay which bill, who was picking up the kids, who was making dinner. Shared calendar + task app literally saved our marriage. Not kidding."
Modern relationships require modern coordination. With two busy people, different schedules, and shared responsibilities, planning together is essential. Reddit has a lot to say about what works.
Why Couples Need Shared Planning
The arguments for shared planning come up constantly on relationship subreddits:
Better Communication
- No more "I thought you were handling that" moments
- Both partners can see what's on each other's plate
- Reduces mental load - especially for the "default planner"
- Creates transparency around time and commitments
Smoother Coordination
- Shared visibility into work schedules, appointments, social events
- Easy to plan date nights around actual availability
- Kids' activities, family events, and obligations all in one place
- Travel planning becomes collaborative, not chaotic
Reducing Daily Friction
- Eliminates the "did you remember to..." conversations
- Both partners can add reminders and tasks
- Prevents double-booking and scheduling conflicts
- Household chores become visible and trackable
Best Shared Calendar Apps for Couples
Google Calendar (Most Popular)
- Free with Google account
- Easy calendar sharing - create a "Family" or "Us" calendar
- Color coding for different event types
- Works on any device, integrates with everything
- Reddit says: "Default choice for a reason. Just works."
Cozi Family Organizer
- Designed specifically for families and couples
- Shared calendar + shopping lists + to-do lists
- Weekly agenda emails to both partners
- Recipe box and meal planning features
- Reddit loves: The combined calendar + lists in one app
TimeTree
- Built for sharing calendars with specific people
- Chat feature attached to events
- Beautiful interface designed for couples
- Memo and notes on shared events
- Popular in: r/Marriage and couples subreddits
Fantastical
- Premium option with beautiful design
- Natural language event creation
- Works across Apple devices seamlessly
- Shared calendar sets for different contexts
- Best for: Apple-only couples who want polish
Task Sharing Apps for Couples
Todoist Shared Projects
- Create shared projects for household, groceries, trips
- Assign tasks to specific partner
- Comments and file attachments on tasks
- Recurring tasks for regular chores
- Pro tip: Create a "House" project with recurring cleaning tasks assigned weekly
Any.do Family Plan
- Shared lists and reminders
- Location-based reminders (remind when at store)
- Clean, simple interface
- Calendar integration built-in
OurHome
- Specifically designed for household management
- Chore assignments with points/rewards
- Grocery lists that sync in real-time
- Calendar and meal planning
- Great for: Couples who want gamification in chores
Beyond Logistics: Planning Quality Time
Don't Just Schedule Chores - Schedule Connection
Reddit's relationship advice consistently emphasizes: the best couples don't just coordinate tasks - they intentionally plan time together.
- Block out regular date nights on the shared calendar
- Schedule "no phone" time together
- Plan activities you both enjoy, not just errands
- Use the calendar to protect couple time from work creep
Many Reddit users report that shared calendars started as logistics tools but became relationship savers when they started blocking out intentional time together.
Common Pitfalls: When One Partner Doesn't Use the App
The #1 Complaint on Reddit
"I set up the shared calendar but my partner never checks it. Now I'm doing all the planning AND updating an app they ignore."
- Start simple: One shared calendar, not five apps
- Make it easy: Put the app on their home screen
- Enable notifications: Morning agenda, event reminders
- Have the conversation: This is about teamwork, not control
- Find their tool: Some people prefer texts/reminders over apps
Other Common Issues
- Over-engineering: Don't create 10 shared lists and 5 calendars. Start with one of each.
- Unequal labor: If one person manages all the shared tools, it's not really shared.
- Micromanagement: Shared visibility shouldn't become surveillance.
- Tech mismatch: iPhone + Android couples may need cross-platform solutions.
Couples/Family App Comparison
| App |
Best For |
Calendar |
Tasks |
Price |
| Google Calendar |
Most couples |
Excellent |
Basic (Tasks) |
Free |
| Cozi |
Families with kids |
Good |
Good |
Free / $29/yr |
| TimeTree |
Couples wanting chat |
Excellent |
Basic |
Free / Premium |
| Todoist |
Task-focused couples |
Basic |
Excellent |
Free / $4/mo |
| Any.do |
Simple shared lists |
Good |
Good |
Free / $3/mo |
| OurHome |
Chore gamification |
Basic |
Good |
Free / Premium |
| Fantastical |
Apple power users |
Excellent |
Good |
$4.75/mo |
Reddit Q&A: Couples Planning Struggles
"My partner and I have completely different planning styles. Help?"
This is common. One partner wants everything scheduled, the other is spontaneous. Compromise: use a shared calendar for the essentials (appointments, work, kids) and leave free time unscheduled. Don't force your planning style on them - find the overlap.
"We keep double-booking ourselves. Any tips?"
Create ONE shared calendar for couple/family events. Both of you add anything that affects both of you. Check the shared calendar before committing to anything. Color code: green for confirmed, yellow for tentative.
"How do we split household tasks fairly?"
Apps like OurHome or a shared Todoist project help make invisible work visible. List everything, then divide based on preference, skill, and time. Seeing it all written down often reveals imbalances neither partner realized.
"We tried shared apps before and it didn't stick. What now?"
Start smaller. Maybe just a shared grocery list (not 10 shared lists). Or just calendar sharing (not a full project management system). Build the habit with one tool before adding more. And make sure both people actually want this - it won't work if only one partner cares.
"Long distance relationship - what apps help?"
TimeTree is popular for LDR couples because of the chat feature on events. Google Calendar works for scheduling calls across time zones. Some couples use shared Notion pages for trip planning and future goals. The key is having something that makes you feel connected despite distance.
Individual Planning for Better Relationships
Balance Your Own Life First
While Funtasking is currently designed for individual use, the Purpose Wheel's "Connection" area helps you track time dedicated to relationships. You can't pour from an empty cup.
- Track how much time you're spending on Work vs. Connection
- Ensure relationship time doesn't get crowded out by other priorities
- Balance career ambitions with quality time together
- Make date nights and relationship goals visible in your daily plan
The best relationships happen when both partners have balanced lives. If you're burned out from work, you have nothing left for your partner. Tools that help you balance Work with Connection ensure relationships get the attention they deserve.